Criminal is All in Perspective
by Titania Le Fey
Summary: Snake is out to commit a crime but fate has other ideas


Plissken had felt like he was getting lazy. Too long had passed since he'd hit anything. A few petty crimes here and there were not enough to soothe that inner hatred. There was an easy solution. He'd found a bank that specialized in government accounts. In fact, that was all they did and kept a fairly large sum of cash on hand. It was the perfect small hit to work back into doing jobs.

Dressed casually but a little nicer than Plissken normally would he headed into the bank. He had his revolvers but had no intention of using them. That point was reinforced when he saw the armed guard. There would be no brandished firearms unless that idiot pulled first. Despite his desire to fuck over the government left and right, Snake had little desire to kill others.

The lines here looked like a nightmare. The shortest had at least ten people in it. In Snake's mind it was too late to turn back now. With a heavy sigh he took his place at the back of the shortest line. It was one of the middle most which Plissken was thankful for. As any bored person did he took his time to look around but he had a purpose, cameras. He spotted the two that covered the back side of the counter and likely through the service area to the person standing at the counter and a second covering the front door. It wasn't much but it was efficient. So was the security system. Snake could trace the wires down under the counter, probably for a panic button or silent alarm. All in all it wouldn't be too bad of a hit.

Plissken's eye drifted to the clock, just after one, twenty minutes had passed and the line had crawled up pulling him halfway to his destination. Several more people had come in taking up the waiting game behind him. Snake wasn't much for waiting but when he had a purpose his patience could be never ending. After taking a tally of who had arrived since he last looked over the customers Plissken resumed his wait. He was starting to shift anxiously but then again so was everyone else.

Snake caught something as his eye roved the room. The teller in the next window over, a nice looking girl with dark hair and a little too much cleavage for working a bank had a rather odd look in her expression. Snake took in the customer she was working with and then her manners again. The son-of-a-bitch was robbing HIS bank. How dare they take his hit? Plissken saw the gun that the robber had though well concealed from most eyes Plissken knew the score. His first instinct was to flee but anger brewed too hot in his veins. This was his bank and his hit.

He pulled from his place in line ducked under the red velvet roping and came up behind the guy like a wildcat and much more likely to kill. The robber must have sensed him coming up and turned. Snake had no mercy for this prick and slugged him full in the jaw.

"This is MY bank you bastard. MINE!" Snake accented the possessive part with a solid kick to the downed man.

Everyone in the place knew something was up by this point. Customers usually did not beat each other in the bank line despite the desire after waiting as long as he had. Snake scanned the crowd and to his surprise saw the guard drawing on him. The first thing he noticed was the fact the gun coming up wasn't a security issued piece.

"Get down" Snake called out. While he wanted to hit the place the people in line didn't deserve to get shot. People dropped, some were staring, Snake had taken up a gunfighter's stance and was waiting. When the gun leveled out Plissken knew he was the target. With the situation as it was, taking down the robber and the wrong weapon being in the guard's hands, Snake easily deduced the situation. That was the accomplice in the robbery. Clever to say the least but they had chosen the wrong bank for today.

Snake drew with the speed of expertise and hit the fake guard high on the hip. Blood splattered on the wall behind. People were screaming now that the boom of a high powered revolver had gone off in such a closed space. Even Plissken's ears were ringing a bit but he was used to ignoring it. Taken aback by the returned fire Snake had time to cross the short distance and unceremoniously ripped the gun from his hand. Plissken was furious that his job had been fucked over by amateurs, no matter how clever they were in positioning their people. He took a handful of the second robber's hair and shoved him to the ground into the puddle of his own blood.

The next item on Snake's agenda was to get the fuck out of dodge before the cops showed. Holstering his weapon he saw them already coming up outside the bank. This had gone from an easy job to a nightmare in all of about 30 seconds. Snake rolled his eye and backed away from the door. He quickly switched wallets trading out Snake's for his real one. He had stopped a robbery as disgusted as he was with that proposition. Even so, he had no desire for the cops to identify him and take him to jail. Not today. Not any day really.

Plissken kept his hands well away from his guns as the police filtered in. The first question was who had fired the shots. Snake fessed up as there was no escaping that fact. They had him produce his conceal carry permit and the revolver which they asked he unload. Another exchange of identification and he was being instructed to give a statement and fill out papers. He'd rather get shot running away at this point. Plissken's ability to wait in one place had run thin. The addition to a squad of cops in close proximity made it unbearable. Yet he knew the paperwork was the fastest way to get out the door before he got caught.

Dutifully he leaned against the door with a clipboard watching the cops drag the two unconscious men out of the bank. His personal information went by in a breeze but the questioning was too much. Plissken cracked a smile at the first question.

"What were you doing at the crime scene before, during and after it was committed?"

Snake couldn't very well write his real reason even if it would be amusing to write "Scoping the bank out for a robbery." He also knew he couldn't write that he was here for an account. He didn't have one with this bank. Taking a moment to think it through Snake had an answer and wrote in a shit story about wanting to open an account here. It would be enough. The other questions were far less amusing aside from one further down near the bottom of the page.

"During the criminal act what were you doing?"

Snake chuckled and wrote in; "Preventing a bank robbery by assaulting the robbers."

That done he handed the clipboard back over to the officer who was guarding him. The man perused what Plissken had written before nodding.

"You can go home. If we have any more questions or need more information we will contact you Mr. Plissken." The cop smiled at him after he stopped speaking. Snake didn't know what to make of that. Maybe hell had frozen over? The cops were smiling at him and he had stopped the robbery of a government bank. This day was weird to say the least.

"No problem." Snake commented and tried to casually walk out despite his desire to run away as fast as he could.

Days later the whole thing still seemed surreal. Due to the commotion Plissken was laying low again when there was a knock at his door. Cautiously he glanced out the window to see a postman. Curiosity was the only reaction possible as he walked over and opened the door.

"Are you Steven Plissken?"

Snake nodded.

"I have a certified letter for you. Sign here."

Plissken didn't know what to make of it but took the machine and pressed his thumb to it for identification.

"Identification confirmed." The little machine declared in that all too sexy of a female voice the government seemed to use for all of their voice recordings. Plissken wondered who she was as he took the letter and closed the door. As usual he decided any woman with that nice of a voice was probably some fat hussy or an ugly, manly bitch.

Snake sat holding the letter for a moment before pulling it open. There were several sheets of paper inside. The first was a letter.

_Dear Mr. Plissken,_

We would like to commend you on your commitment to the security of this nation. Your personal risk to prevent the robbery of….

The letter droned on and on but Plissken gave it a rather uninterested skimming. The second page made his eye wide. It was a check. A reward check for stopping a crime. 10,000 dollars in reward. A solid minute passed before Plissken could react. Snake erupted into laughter. There was no other way to deal with this. He didn't need to rob banks. The government would give him the money for free if he managed to get angry at the right people. Tears streamed down his face from hard laughter before he got up to pour a drink. If they only knew who they paid he was certain Malloy would piss himself.


End file.
